My stupid fair skin

As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently found out that I have basal cell carcinoma on my nose which is the most common form of skin cancer. I found out 3 weeks after the girls were born. I cried the whole way home from the dermatologist. But this cancer doesn't spread to other parts of the body, it just keeps growing and if left alone can be very disfiguring. So if I leave it alone it could take over my whole nose. Not good. Thus, I will be having it removed later this month.

Those at the highest risk of getting this are those with fair skin, blond hair and blue eyes - sound a little like me? It usually affects older people, so me getting it while I'm still in my 20s isn't normal. Stupid fair skin. But I wasn't the wisest when I was younger. I went to tanning salons. Very stupid, I know. But when you're young you think you're invincible - I know I did. Ha! That has come to bite me in the butt. I stopped tanning in my early 20s and wear sunscreen lotion, plus my make-up has sunscreen, but by then it was too late.

I think that I noticed the bump on my nose a few years ago, but thought nothing of it. Actually, I think I just didn't want to face the truth of what it could be so I just never got it checked out. Well, this summer it grew. Kinda scary. Jeff kept telling me to get it looked at, and after this summer he really pushed it. Then I saw my sister in August who is an esthetician and she said I should have it checked out too. So I finally decided to bite the bullet and see what this thing was. I started in August to try to get in to see a dermatologist and I wasn't able to get in until December...stupid crappy insurance/medical system. The soonest they could get me in was right after I had just had twins. Brilliant. Kinda the most emotional time for a woman. The doc looked at it and said it was cancer. He didn't sugar coat it or anything. And I was at the doc by myself with no one to lean on. He still wanted to do a biopsy. I am sooooo not good with needles or anything of the sort so that freaked me out a bit. To numb it they had to stick me three times with a needle and keep it in there for like an hour each time (ok, it just felt like an hour), then they cut out what they needed and bandaged me up. I had to clean it and change the bandage everyday for up to a week. It looked gross, and hurt.

So to take care of this the doc said that due to it being on my nose he couldn't perform the procedure himself and said I had to get a specialist to do it because you are dealing with a spot that doesn't have any extra skin to play with. The procedure is called MOHS. With this procedure they cut out exactly around the cancer, send it to the lab right in the office, map it out and make sure that they got all the cancer. If not then they go back in, cut only in the spot where it looks like there are more affected cells, send it to the lab, check it out, and if need be cut some more. They keep doing this until they finally see good healthy cells, which could take up to 4+ hours. They have to do this to preserve as much of the healthy skin as possible. Each time they take me back in to cut more they have to keep numbing it up. When they are done then they have to patch up the area, and because it's on the nose it's kind of like plastic surgery to make sure it looks good. Depending on how deep they have to go they may make slits around the nose so that they can move the skin around to cover the hole, or they will do a skin graft. My doc seems to be leaning towards a skin graft. But we'll see. I'm awake the whole time. Since I am WAY not good with this kind of stuff it will be a tad hard to handle. So I asked for some kind of valium or something to keep me calm during the procedure. But that affects my milk for the babies, so we'll see what happens.

The healing process will be a little annoying. If they do a skin graft I will have to have a bandage on for a week and I will have to be very careful to make sure the skin takes. Then I go in and they remove the bandage and check it all out. Either way I can't wash my hair or my face normally for at least a week. I'm not supposed to lean over, pick anything up, or do anything that will cause more blood flow. Hello, I have three kids, two of which are newborns! So, my parents, being as awesome as they are, will come help out, once again. I am so blessed with such giving and helpful parents. This past year they came to help me when I was pregnant and having HORRIBLE morning sickness, came when the babies were born, and came to help us move. Now I'm needing them again. I have been way too needy this last year - kind of annoying. Anyway, my nose will look hideous for awhile, and I'm not supposed to put make-up on the area to cover it for up to a month. I will have to go in after a few months to have them basically sand down the scar so that it won't be as noticeable. I'm only 29 and now I will have this big scar on my nose, which is what people see of me first. Great. To add to that I'm still carrying a ton of baby weight and my stomach is covered in stretchmarks with extra skin that flaps in the wind. I might as well just crap all over my self esteem.

Now the insurance issue. We tried to get the procedure done in Portland where I had awesome OHP that would cover everything, but the timing didn't work out before we moved. Now I live in another state where I need new insurance and I have a pre-existing condition that needs immediate attention. Can we say EXPENSIVE. Dude, we have a butt load in student loans and Jeff just started getting an income...not the best time to have this expense. Oh well, we deal with what we're given. Anyway, I can't wait to have this all over. It has been hanging over my head for a few months now and I just want it done. You know how they talk about the likelihood that a person will get cancer in their life? Well hopefully, with this, I've met my quota and won't have any kind of cancer ever again. Hey, I'm going to stay optimistic, ok.

Whoa, that was long. For those who actually read all of this thanks for hanging in there with me :)

Here's the basal cell carcinoma in all it's glory.

After the biopsy. Beautiful, eh? I feel like he took a HUGE chunk. Was that really necessary? I now have a big crater on my nose. I can't wait for the surgery to have it fully removed so that it will nicely be closed up and fixed.