So I've heard that when people get pregnant with their second child that they have feelings of not knowing how they could love another child as much as their first. I've kinda worried about that with Porter but it really hit tonight. What's funny is that I was really thinking about it while Jeff and I were out watching an alien movie...not sure why that triggered it. Anyway, lately I have been pretty uncomfortable and unable to really hold Porter or cuddle with him because of my belly. We'll be sitting on the couch and he'll want to cuddle but I have to kinda push him away because he wiggles around or crawls all over me and it totally hurts my belly. He also asks me to pick him up if we're out and about sometimes but that is getting too hard too. And my fatigue and uncomfortableness has made me, shall we say, a little less than patient. So of course Porter kinda gets the brunt of that. I'm just sad that I can't give Porter the kind of attention that I used to give him, and it is only going to get worse once the babies come. Now, don't get me wrong, I am totally excited for the arrival of these two little girls, but remembering back to when Porter was a newborn I know how much work it takes to care for one newborn, let alone two at the same time, plus take care of a toddler. I feel bad for Porter. I love this little guy so much and don't want him to ever feel like he has been replaced. I sometimes wonder what have we done? Everything was so wonderful and perfect with just the three of us. Isn't that just awful to say? But Jeff has to remind me how we felt it was right and the perfect time to add to our family. More kids means more love. And when I meet these little babies my heart will just increase to be able to love them as much as I love Porter. I know all of this, my hormones are just getting the best of me right now. Plus the recent development of not being able to really hold my little guy at all and enjoy the closeness that I used to always be able to have with him. The first part of this pregnancy I was too sick to really function as a mom and now I am too uncomfortable/tired to really function as a mom. Poor Ports is the one who has to deal with that. But I know he is fine. It is mostly just me who is having the problem with it. Does it get any better?
Seven Minutes
2 days ago
5 comments:
I learned that your love doesn't get divided between the kids, it's multiplied. Like you said, the more kids the more love. And it will be just fine. They will all feel your love because you will have so much of it.
I totally felt the same way minus the TWO babies part. I was cranky and impatient and took it out on Amelia. I remained that way for the first couple of months after Peryn was born. I felt awful! I felt like the worst mother because I couldn't control my emotions and outbursts with my toddler. I also felt horrible because I was tired and had no energy to entertain so poor Amelia was probably bored out of her mind. Plus I was working. In the end, my feelings did a total 180 when I saw how much Amelia LOVED her sister. She LOVES making her laugh, LOVES playing peek-a-boo, LOVES to tickle her, sing songs with her, read books to her, etc. etc. I may not be able to give her as much attention but it's completely made up for by the entertainment Peryn offers Amelia! Porter, I'm sure, will love his little sisters just as much. PLUS he'll have TWO fun babies!!
-Alyssa
Amy, just as everything else in your life you will do a superb job! It will take time to adjust and figure things out but I know you can do it.
All of us with more than one child has been in this situation. I haven't had two babies at one time, so I'm not entirely sure this will apply, but when I had Andi I thought Carter would be neglected, but it was kind of Andi who did. I would feed her and then put her down to go play with Carter. So Andi didn't get held near as much as Carter did when he was a newborn. She did a lot of floor and bouncy chair time and I would drag her from room to room with us, wherever I was playing with Carter. And before you know it, your twins will be old enough to play with Porter and they will all play together happily (most of the time). :) It will be a huge adjustment, but it will all work out and you will do a wonderful job.
When you were born, we had the perfect family: An eleven year old, a nine, a seven, a four, and now we had a perfectly beautiful little baby girl. Perfect! We wanted to freeze time right there and keep our family that way forever. Of course, that was when time accellerated uncontrollably and we went through the next three decades before we could turn around.
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